Welcome to Melbourne

After having an insane work-related nightmare, waking up to a creepy, Ed Gein-like stare from some weird girl on the plane, and a long wait in the customs line, I had finally arrived in Melbourne. I stood outside the international departures gate for about 5 minutes waiting for Danny. I casually walked up behind him, as I do most of my friends when I want to creep on them, and said, “Who’s that beautiful man.” That could have potentially been awkward had it not been him, but the risk was worth it. When he turned around and I realized it was him, hugged, made small talk, and then decided to do what all Melbourne visitors should do the second they get there—have a Melbourne coffee.

Melbourne has amazing coffee, so we went to a place with great coffee and great breakfast food. The place was in a neighborhood just east of the Melbourne CBD. I sat down and it was then that it hit me, “I’m here… and I’m on vacation…not working.” I think the waitress thought I was a lunatic because I can only imagine what the goofy grin on my face must have looked like. I was elated. She brought our lattes over to the table, set them down, and I took my first sip. It was REALLY good. I couldn’t believe how good it was. It was like losing my virginity, and the result was the same—instant orgasm.

I stopped drinking coffee for a really long time because you can’t find many places in the US that sell a decent cup, and I’m mostly unwilling to compromise. The waitress was surprised when I said that it was the best cup of coffee I’d ever had. She giggled, blushed, and thanked me for the compliment. It may have been the simple fact that I was in a different country, but the cup of coffee really was damned good. I’ve had a lot of good coffee, but I don't recall a latte even being THAT amazing.

So after rediscovering my strange and intimate love for coffee, we went and had an early afternoon beer at a place called Naked for Satan. I was sold on the name alone. It’s a cool spot that overlooks the Melbourne skyline and has few, but good beers. We sat outside catching up for a while, then decided to take off and drive around the city for a bit. It was a good… fucking…. day, and I wasn’t at work. Life is gooooood.